November 30, 2007

Image column intended to be satire, not serious commentary

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Read more:
Morgan Blunk’s column from Image magazine
Image magazine editorial staff: Magazine contains more than opinion columns
JoHannah Hamilton: Finding spouse not sole purpose of getting college education
Letter to the editor: Column pushes outdated generalizations of women Are y’all kidding me? Because maybe you didn’t know that I was kidding in my Image Magazine HUMOR column. Maybe you were reading too closely to tell that I was making fun of a common stereotype.

Shame on you people for not recognizing farce from a tree or satire from an apron. My column was poking fun at an age-old stereotype, not pushing women’s rights back to pre-Susan B. Anthony.

I have to admit, a few thanks are in order, though. Thank you for all of your encouraging and classy words of criticism and advice. It’s you who have given me the topic for my next charming column in the spring: “A Sense of Perspective: Why Upperclassmen Have More of It.” This will undoubtably warm all of your anxious hearts.

And to those of you whose messages I didn’t read, well, too many nasty thoughts can ruin a person’s chi. And that’s just bad karma. Forgive me.

To the ones who think I’m shallow – I do have a shoe fetish and a terrible habit of reading trashy chick-lit books, so maybe I am a bit shallow in those regards.

To the ones who think I’m wasting my $30,000 per year degree by masking it in an attempt to get a husband, well, I’m writing the column that was heard ’round campus – and other schools, I’m told – and you’re not. Weird.

If you ask anyone who knows me personally they’ll tell you I’m a serial dater. My friends all laughed at my column because they know I’m probably the least likely to tie the knot in the TCU chapel in May of 2008.

I am actually disgusted at the idea of getting married while still in college – or shortly thereafter – and thought it was funny to write that I was for it. I thought you’d get it.

Thank you to everyone who gave me my 15 minutes of fame in the past few days. Now, I can get married and have lots of babies right out of college instead of becoming a reporter like I’ve always wanted. Not.

Aren’t finals next week? Go study or something.

Morgan Blunk is a senior broadcast journalism major from Omaha, Ne.