Guest humor column: Grant Moore’s “The Funny Papers”


    It's funny how when you quit something successfully, it makes it all the harder to keep yourself from doing it again. Three years ago, I started writing a column for my high school newspaper. Humor-based I suppose, it was mainly just an opportunity for me to point out the absurdities in life and get a few digs in on things here and there. I remember one particular column being about how absurd frozen yogurt is. I still stand by this, because it's still absurd to pay upwards of six dollars for a bowl of milk, ice and toppings.

    When I was asked by The Skiff to start writing columns, a bittersweet flux of memories came to me. My last column in high school was about how above all else, I enjoyed entertaining people in any medium I could find and how that truly was the most important thing to me in my life. 

    For anyone who doesn't know me, I'm an active member of TCU's improv comedy troupe Senseless Acts of Comedy, a place where my drive to be humorous has been happily fulfilled. 

    In fact, most of the activities I partook in high school I have absolutely no connection to now. I was an editor-in-chief of the newspaper and the president of the band, both of which have fantastic programs at TCU. It's just that those parts of my life are over. I ended on a good note. Why would I come back to water I've already treaded? Why would I potentially screw up such a good exit? The answer is because laughter is just so under-appreciated, and I'm here to fix that. 

    There are many styles of comedy. Every single person on a stage you see has their distinct feel. It could be pointing out the mundane like Jerry Seinfeld. It could just be finding new ways to make you want to hit them, like Charlyne Yi. Personally, I've always found the approach of pointing out the flaws in beloved things my strongest choice. Call me pessimistic, grumpy, a downer, but someone has to do it.

    Like WiFi for example. Back to the Future II said we'd have flying cars by 2015. We can't even figure out wireless internet and it's 2012. Professional service providers constantly say they don't understand why your WiFi isn't working. How are we going to get to flying cars in three years? I'm not saying I have a lack of faith in humanity, we just need to pick up the pace. And can I get internet on planes please? That's the great Sasquatch of technology, that seems to always be "right around the corner," but never suffices.

    I read this last paragraph myself and I sound like a 21 year old Andy Rooney. I could be depressed by this, but I take it as a source of pride. Andy Rooney made me laugh when he was on television, and that's so important. We work so hard in our lives and suffer so much that I'm always surprised by the lack of comedy that I see in the world. It's cliche to say that laughter is the best medicine, but it's so understatedly true. I've kind of made it one of my life goals to bring as much laughter and comedy to this world as I can, and I love doing it. I can only hope that what ever I write in future columns can bring you even a semblance of a smile, because God knows I'll probably try way too hard.

    Grant Moore is a junior film, television and digital media major from Dallas, Texas.