A word from real life: Men

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    Go ahead and close up the latest edition of Cosmo, and stack it neatly with the rest of your subscriptions. Better yet, toss it in the nearest recycle bin and stop reading this sentence when you find the period. That’s what a college guy wants.

    There isn’t a manual or study guide to what a dude wants. There isn’t a realistic cinema representation or song on your iPod. Accept it. Move on. We don’t really know what we want in a relationship and if we say we do, there’s a good chance the answer will change the next time you ask. The college-age male is not made from a cookie cutter8212;his wants, needs and expectations are not static. Most guys have a hard time settling on their domestic beer of choice. Then there are the guys that stick to whiskey and the guys who don’t drink alcohol at all.

    “Cranberry juice,” DiCaprio says to the bartender in “The Departed.” “It’s a natural diuretic, my girlfriend drinks it when she’s got her period,” a bar patron responds. “What, do you got your period?”

    DiCaprio takes a quick drag from his cigarette before smashing his glass over the man’s head. Some guys smoke and some guys are rough.

    There may be one common denominator in what a guy, whether he’s using Frog Bucks or the senior discount at Luby’s, wants in a relationship: Friendship. Get to know a guy and you’ll figure out the little quirks and traits that may have confused you before.

    Why didn’t he text me back? Hang out with him long enough and you’ll probably figure out he tends to text no one back on a consistent basis and you shouldn’t take it personal.

    As with any friendship, there are times to be brutally honest and straightforward, and times to put things a little more nicely. The dude probably won’t take it well if you tell him his outfit is tacky and his new haircut makes his face look fat when he picks you up for dinner. Be nice. At the same time, good friends know when to be honest, so keep that in mind. Mind games are lame8212;guys respect honesty and straight-forwardness more than tiptoeing around hurt feelings.

    A week’s worth of hints that you’ve lost interest will be more painful in the long run than flat out saying, “look, this just isn’t working out.’

    Friendship is a big part of what a guy wants from a girl. That way, when your dude turns in the Jack Daniel’s for the cranberry juice, you’ll have the answer before the question comes up on the final exam.