What do women want? Women. Want. Men. This age-old question has plagued philosophers and Ph.D.’s, although the guy from Hitch seemed to grasp it. The concept is strikingly obvious, yet it boggles every boy’s brain.

This concept, of women wanting men, is unclear to guys because they are confused about the definition of “want” and the definition of “man.” Man, defined: when frat snapping turns into wine sipping, excuses turn into emotions and playing PS2 turns into catering to PMS, a woman knows a boy has turned into a man.

Manhood isn’t about retiring “that’s what she said” jokes and “boy’s night out.” It’s about moving motivation beyond instant gratification.

Want, defined: a longing; an urge that can only be fulfilled by obtaining a degree of satisfaction. Wanting is dynamic where liking is only two-dimensional. A person can like something one day and forget about it the next. Want feeds motivation and ignites internal hunger.

The biggest difference between a boy and a man is motivation. Boys are motivated by the thrill of the chase and the freedom of no responsibility. For example: If your boy is watching a football game and you’re trying to cuddle or kiss him, your needs are on the back burner while his football fetish remains top priority. Boys don’t understand the concept of brownie points, or multitasking for that matter.

A man, however, is fueled by the success of a captured goal, an undeniable love for women and the rewards that come with responsibility. Yes, it’s possible to reap benefits from responsibility. Men understand that women are needy and manipulative. Men have put in the work, they’ve seen the dark side and learned how to battle it. So men see our cooing and cuddling during Monday Night Football for what it really is: a test. A test, if scored well on, will reward them in the long run.

Bottom line: men do the work because they understand and appreciate the benefits of a woman filled with gratitude. But boys choose to be lazy because they’re capitalizing on a phenomenon that only exists in college. So guys, if you’re wondering what a woman wants, think about what your motives are. A guy who really wants to be the man that a woman wants will work for the reward. A guy who only wants to be the man that a woman wants for the night will be worn out after the first red flag.