Girl code. The unspoken rule among females, which says you cannot hook up with a friend’s ex, brother, “friend,” your ex-boyfriend’s friends, etc. Girls are indoctrinated with this rule from birth on and have had it ingrained in their heads by the time puberty hits. You know that guy your friend kissed on the monkey bars in third grade? Well, she wouldn’t share her crayons with you for the next month because she heard you held hands with him on the soccer field. So, not OK.
However, girl code in college, especially at TCU, is not quite as clear as many girls had hoped. In your secondary education years, your friends were clearly established, and it was common knowledge who hooked up with whom. If one of the members of your posse went out with a guy you had liked at one time, whether it be a one-time date, hookup, or any kind of relationship, they knew he was off-limits.
Vanessa Trevino, a senior entrepreneurial and fashion merchandising major, said that girl code is not only shaky at TCU, but that girls don’t even learn from friends’ mistakes.
“It’s funny how friendships end or rifts are created in certain groups because girls will go out with some guy that their friend dated, even though half the time he treated her friend like crap,” Trevino said.
“The girl will delude herself into thinking that she’s special and that he’ll be better to her. At the end of the day, the girl is out normally one or more friends, and she gets hurt in almost the exact same way. The whole time wondering … what happened?”
The shortage of the Y chromosome around campus has caused some girls to forgo girl code in favor of late-night hooksups and short-term flings. Girls at TCU don’t seem to follow girl code as closely because of the large amount of wiggle room provided by “loose friendships” and the general lack of men.
For example, if you’re friends with a girl on Facebook can you not hook up with her ex? Personally, I have more than 100 “girl friends” on Facebook, which would limit my supply of desirable men to date on campus to … well … none.
What about the bonds of a sorority? Some sororities have upward of 150 members. Friends of mine can’t identify their own “sisters,” let alone their sisters’ ex-boyfriends. But since they have taken an oath to one another, does that mean they can’t date past loves?
As the age old saying goes, men will come and go, but when you’re puking on a Saturday night, it’s not that hot piece you got last weekend but rather your girlfriends who will be holding your hair back. And whether you’re best friends or have a relationship that consists of saying hi when passing between classes, you never know when you might need that girl with whom you’ve never exchanged more than quick conversations and short hellos.
Lindsay Shoulders, a senior advertising/public relations and communication studies major, said girls at TCU put too little validity on having girlfriends.
“The problem is girls put more emphasis on guy/girl relationships than girl/girl relationships,” Shoulders said. “Girls place feeling good with some guy for a little bit above the interests of girls they should probably be looking out for. Girls think having a boyfriend, no matter who it is, is better than making new friends … or (not) losing old ones.”
The fact of the matter is, most college relationships don’t work out, but “the one,” the guy that fairy tales are made of, won’t be standing next to you at your wedding. Your friends will be. (He’ll hopefully be standing across the aisle.)
So, after much debate with friends, co-workers, and some random girls I met at Jack’s Pub, a general rule to make girl code easy to follow and to bring peace and harmony to the female college community for years to come was decided upon.
If you know a girl’s middle name, all close males whom she even might have come into the realm of having feelings for, are out of the question. This includes friends and close relatives such as brothers and some cousins (because family bonds count as feelings too).
I don’t believe that bad girls have more fun. So be a “friend,” and demonstrate to the girls following in your foot steps “good” girl behavior using this simple rule. Not only will you keep your current girlfriends, but the door will be open to making new ones.
Girls want friends who know that you’ll put dance parties and cosmos above the chance to hook up with their guy, whether he be old or new, friend or relative, a Mark Ruffalo look alike or an average Joe.
Beth Wreford is a senior broadcast journalism and political science major from St. Louis. She is happy to announce that all her friends are amazing and luckily not dating any of her ex-boyfriends.