Quiet hours should apply outside

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    Ah, the sweet serenade of the TCU alma mater. Nothing’s greater than a group of students getting together and expressing their school spirit by singing this revered tune. Last Wednesday night, I attended such a performance. The problem is, it was occurring outside of my dorm room window at 3 in the morning.Yes, it’s true. And as if that weren’t enough, they proceeded to sing the fight song and then have a 45-minute conversation in the alleyway between Milton Daniel and Moncrief halls. By the time everything was all said and done, it was about 4 a.m. and the REM sleep I had been enjoying mere hours before was but a distant memory. What’s more, I couldn’t fall back asleep for the life of me.

    Simply put, the same quiet hours that apply within most residence halls, 10 p.m. to 10 a.m., should also be strictly enforced outside, as well, with the obvious exception of weekends.

    Sound travels a lot better through a thin sheet of glass than it does through an eight-inch thick wall. Also, when some people are outside, they seem to think it is their God-given right to scream at the top of their lungs or start dropping F-bombs like they are attacking an Iraqi weapons factory.

    I’m not trying to say those walking around outside after 10 p.m. should have to act like monks who have just taken a vow of silence, but conversation should be kept to a casual tone. Romantic strolls with your sweetie are fine, a shouting match between your friends about who can drink more beer while riding a Sit ‘n Spin is not. Also, traveling in large groups, such as the nine-person fiesta that I was unfortunate enough to sit through, should be strongly discouraged.

    Some people may think this proposal is unreasonable. Consider this: Would you be happy if I snuck into your room in the middle of the night wearing a wedding dress while simultaneously scratching a chalkboard and repeatedly screaming, “I am the emperor of ice cream!”? Of course you wouldn’t.

    Bottom line: Whatever the cause, it’s very annoying to be awoken in the wee hours of the morning.

    We should have a quasi-police service patrol the area to look for people acting obnoxiously. You know, instead of Froggie Five-O, we’d have Froggie “Shut Yo’ Mouth.” The operation would consist of SuperFrog driving his golf cart around campus and levying fines to those who cause a ruckus late at night.

    Why SuperFrog? You know as well as I do that it’s impossible to say no to that face. Those who resisted the fines would be forced to look at SuperFrog’s jovial smile and would have no choice but to pay up. Seriously, I’d give that creature the deed to my car if he stared at me long enough.

    Anyway, crazy daydreams of mine aside, we should all take it upon ourselves to be more considerate of our neighbors’ sleeping habits. Respecting the slumber of individuals campuswide will lead to better sleep. Better sleep leads to better grades, better grades lead to better jobs and better jobs lead to a better life.

    Don’t we all want to own a Ferrari and have the financial means to purchase Liechtenstein? Let’s take the first step together.

    David Hall is a freshman news-editorial journalism major from Kingwood. His column appears every Tuesday and Friday.