Resolutions, Skiff style

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    Last fall everyone took a political beating; this fall we took a beating from nature.Sure, we had Cindy Sheehan and some indictments to stir up the political stew a bit, but energy prices soon knocked those out of the news.

    TCU football regained its rightful place as a Top 25 program.

    And this semester, we seem to have made it through without a major sexual controversy. That may speak volumes about the lack of dating at TCU, which the Skiff has covered quite thoroughly.

    All in all, 2005 is a bit of a mixed bag, but it has been fun.

    But lets see if we can make next year better.

    As we approach finals and rush toward 2006, we need to make some New Year’s resolutions. So here it is, the Skiff New Year’s Resolutions:

    * Figure out why dating columns generate a visceral response on campus while abortion columns go unnoticed.

    * Realize that it is hard enough to register at stores for a wedding, so it is probably a bad idea to do it the day after Thanksgiving.

    * Accept the fact that no matter how many times we resolve to work out more, it just isn’t going to happen. We give up. Pass the chips.

    * Stop saying that we should save money. Start spending money on things that can be resold on eBay: cool-looking alcohol bottles, purses, designer jeans, iPod accessories, DVDs, CDs and things touched by famous people.

    * Give up on trying to swear less. Start campaigning at Merriam-Webster’s headquarters to remove any reference to “profanity” or “offensive” from the definitions.

    * Realize that most of the time, people from Texas shouldn’t try to parallel park. * Stop circling the parking lots for hours trying to get a place when parking and riding the shuttle takes a fraction of the time.

    Opinion Editor Brian Chatman for the Editorial Board.