Women’s fashion has never made sense to me. I’m continually amazed when I see naturally beautiful women who mangle and contort their bodies in order to fit into something “cute,” all so they can impress their girlfriends.See, from what I can tell, women don’t dress to make guys notice them. If they did, they’d listen to our complaints. Instead, many women participate in a daily battle to see who can be the best-looking. It’s an internal war, and the victims are the men who are forced to view the disgusting ensembles worn by the combatants.
Let’s start with an oldie but goodie: Ugg boots. I have no inherent problem with Ugg boots. According to Ugg’s Web site, they’re “cozy shoes” that I “won’t ever want to step out of.” Best of all, they keep feet warm and toasty, and who doesn’t want that, especially on cold winter days? But there arise two problems: First, it doesn’t get that cold in North Texas. I can see wearing Uggs if you live in Minnesota, but Fort Worth? Second, if you want to be so warm, why wear them with miniskirts and shorts? Ugg-wearers are just as bad as people who wear white tube socks with sandals.
Now for my next point. I live (yes, live) on the second floor of Moudy, where, like in every other building at TCU, it is always 40 degrees below whatever the temperature is outside. You’d think that people would figure out this system by modifying their wardrobes, but every day I see female classmates sporting next to nothing. “It’s so cold in here,” they cry.
Either shut up and deal or wear something more than glorified underwear.
Speaking of underwear, you are not BeyoncÂ; no one wants to see your thong.
But enough about cold weather and undies. Spring is almost here and the new fashions are upon us. This year’s big item: sunglasses. Here’s the interactive part of the column. Take your sunglasses into the bathroom and, facing the mirror, put them on. Ask yourself, “Do I look like a bug?” If the answer is “yes” or “maybe,” promptly remove the sunglasses and dispose of them in the nearest trash can. Sunglasses should cover your eyes, not your entire face.
Let’s move on. I’ll preface this next topic by saying that I agree that women’s clothing sizes are difficult to understand. In “man land,” everything is in inches, which makes perfect sense. You ladies have to deal with ambiguous numbers like “4” and “6,” which often change from store to store.
After much research, however, I think I know how many women pick their sizes. They try on a pair of jeans that fit, go back to the rack and buy a pair that’s one size smaller.
This may shock and offend you, but, chances are, you don’t wear a “0,” as much as you try to delude yourself. So many women would be gorgeous if they just wore clothes that fit instead of cramming themselves into khaki shorts from Limited Too.
Women’s fashion isn’t a total loss, though. Many of the attempted trends die quickly, such as the ruffled miniskirt or the Von Dutch trucker cap. And most female Horned Frogs dress well. With a little work, and a little advice from guy friends, we can make TCU a very fashionable campus. But, as an immediate favor to me, lose the Uggs.
Brian Wooddell is a senior news-editorial journalism major from The Woodlands. He’s no fashion guru, but he knows what he likes.