Women should find class again, save trash for the wastebasket

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    Thousands of women marched in streets throughout the early 20th century and fought for the equality of women. Those women argued for equality so women could be free of those silly feminine conventions that identified them as second-class citizens – high heels, lipstick, giggles and lace.I’m afraid the civil rights ladies of the Roaring ’20s succeeded beyond their wildest dreams. Surely they didn’t fight for our liberation so we could become a generation of girls with no class.

    During my time at TCU, I’ve been so ashamed of and embarrassed for several of my fellow classmates that I want to grab my copy of “Emily Post’s Etiquette” out of my back pocket and slap them with it. To refrain from doing that, here are a few key tips to staying classy.

    First and foremost, stop smoking. I know you think it’s proper to smoke as long as you’re sitting down with your legs crossed. Any sorority girl on campus will tell you that’s the “classy” way to smoke. It’s OK as long as you’re not standing up with a beer in the other hand, right?

    Whoever told you that lied.

    I have news for you girls – smoking is not sexy. You don’t look hot blowing smoke out of your mouth. Plus, no decent guy wants to kiss a girl who smells like an ashtray.

    Secondly, the thong. No one wants to know what color underwear you are wearing each day. When you lean over, don’t let your thong hang half way out of your pants. If this happens to you frequently, either your pants and shirt don’t fit, or you need to learn to adjust your underwear. I know guys think it’s sexy when women wear thongs, but let your man know what your lingerie looks like in private. It’s not something for everyone behind you to see – especially faculty and staff. Professors don’t quite understand the thong crave and will more than likely think you’re a slut.

    I know men are far and few on campus, but that doesn’t mean you have to resort to extreme manners to get a little action. Don’t make out with your fellow females.

    I know, I know – TCU has some of the best looking ladies in the country, but are they hot enough to justify a lesbian fluke? I know men are into girl-on-girl action, but don’t lower your standards to impress a dude. Find a cute, sweet boyfriend to make out with.

    However, never lock lips with that cute, sweet boyfriend in public.

    I know he looks handsome when you have a few drinks in your system, which tricks you into thinking a little kiss in front of everyone at the bar is a good idea. Think again. Your friends, the bartender and anyone else in close proximity to you doesn’t care to watch your boyfriend slobber on your face and neck and grab your ass. Now, I don’t mean a careless peck to say thank you. I’m talking about sloppy kisses, groping, rubbing and nibbling. These activities go right along with the thong – they belong in the bedroom.

    And finally, the little things you think slip by without anyone noticing – burping, smacking, spitting and cussing. I know your momma taught you not to burp in public. It’s grotesque and, quite honestly, it usually smells.

    Smacking is in the same category of table manners that you should know by now. We are adults who attend a prestigious private school – you should know better.

    I hardly have words for women who spit – just stop doing it.

    Cussing is meant for extreme situations of anger, stress or pain. I can understand the F-bomb slipping out if your boyfriend just cheated on you, or your foot is being run over by a truck, but dropping the bomb every other word is offensive.

    As women of the South and residents of Fort Worth, we should understand the qualifications of class. In “Confessions of a Failed Southern Lady,” Florence King wrote, “If you wish to understand the American woman, study the Southern woman. The sweetening process that feminists call ‘socialization’ is simply a less intense version of what goes on in every Southern family. We call it ‘rearing.’ If the rearing is successful, it results in that perfection of femininity known as a lady.”

    Try to act like a lady from now on.

    Leslie Honey is a news-editorial journalism major from Longview.